Second chances ?

Today as it was a VERY slow day at work, I began going through all the photos in my #iphone , and deleting all of the junk. As I did so I stumbled upon so many old gems that took me down memory lane. All of my son of course. He’s 2 now, soon to be three, but he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I know you’re thinking…. everyone says that right? Well yes! But sometimes us parents also tell you the truth, that these adorable pint sized monsters are driving us crazy and sucking the life out of us, all while loving us and being sweet at the perfect moments. I found everything from my very first ultrasound, being in the hospital for delivery, newborn pics, first birthday, all the way the most recent.

As I went through these older ones, especially around 1 year old where he began walking and talking, but still had that baby look and still needed me for most things; it just melted my heart. I could feel my ovaries getting warm and fuzzy, and then I began to think……. What if I never get a second chance at this? She’s just being dramatic, I know that’s what you’re thinking. But my son’s my miracle baby. My pregnancy was very difficult and exceptionally scary, not to mention I did and have done this all alone this entire time. But would I change it? NOPE!

Ever since my son has been born, I haven’t really actually dated. Maybe a relationship or a getting to know a person stage here and there, but nothing lasting more than a few months. Mostly I’m my own worst enemy. I think I usually end up finding some reason or way to sabotage it or convince myself that it won’t or couldn’t work, or I pick guys that there’s no way in hell it could ever workout with. It’s just that deep down I have this feeling that it’s just going to be myself and my son for a long time and that’s it. Like I am unworthy and don’t deserve something good IF (and that’s a very big IF) it did even exist somewhere out there. I mean, have y’all seen the dating pool lately? It’s like trying to pick out the most appealing piece of garbage from a dumpster. Most men just want to sleep with you and don’t understand why that isn’t enough….. To me it’s just not even worth the time or the effort.  I do realize this doesn’t apply to ALL men, but I haven’t been able to find the right fit just yet.

I know plenty of amazing, wonderful women far more beautiful than myself who are single, and it’s like if they can’t have it all then there’s no hope for the rest of us. Nowadays you just have to settle, and ladies  NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US SHOULD HAVE TO SETTLE! We deserve something amazing and great and pure. So I’ll keep holding out hope that maybe just maybe, God has some amazing sweep you off your feet man for me. Because there’s no way I will have another child without being married.

Please don’t take this blog wrong, I do not let this define me. I am who I am, which is a kicka$$, single, hardworking mom. But I just can’t help but think every now and then how nice it might be to have someone who loved myself and my son as their own, and who would happily help share the ups and down and load of life with me.  My goal is to be the absolute best role model for him that I can be, provide everything we need, teach him how love the lord, himself and me. One of the most important things I have began doing is making sure he knows he to treat the women in his life. Opening doors for them, making sure he and I have date nights etc.

Here’s to hoping that happy endings DO still exist ❤

And away she goes……

Hi! I have no idea how many people will even see this, but I have thought for months about starting my own blog. I’m still in the process of figuring out what my entire genre of blogging will be about, as I don’t want to be tied down to just ONE topic ie cooking, momming, travels etc. Good thing because my cooking leaves a lot to be desired lol. I am a twenty- something (and holding) mom who is overwhelmed hard working and entirely too busy. But, I miss being able to learn and express myself through writing, and having that potential outlet.

With that being said, this year I have taken time to focus more on myself and trying to at least do a few things here or there when I have the time that I enjoy, and this will certainly be one of them. I am diving feet first into the WordPress community on a whim that in total took about an hour to research, pay, customize, and start my first post. I honestly haven’t blogged since Sophomore year in English 1102, and that was how our teacher graded certain assignments. But even then when given specifications, I found myself enjoying blogging along with the interaction of the web. Being able to read and access tons of topics with vast opinions and read everyones reactions and comments really can give you a lot of great insight on things.

Now back to self focus and introspection, I’m a very busy single mom. I work a lot and I commute a decent distance everyday from home. But I really want to focus on ways to let the stress be. So when I come home my home can be our happy place. In the past I have tried and failed, and this year started out a little rocky. Here lately I have been managing the stress a little better, but I would definitely like to focus on myself and being better as well as more stress free. If anyone has any recommendations on anything they have read that was helpful feel free to leave that in the comments that would be amazing!! ❤ 🙂

I look forward to seeing y’all soon!